April 19, 2013

hold on

I've been away from this place, both in writing and mentally. Thoughts of creating are not on my mind and my sewing table is piled full of left overs from the day. I don't really want to talk or think.

But I will think today- I'll write this short post as I should be doing so many other things because sharing is good. My mom is sick. She's been sick for three years but this last episode sent her to the ER a week ago today and she's still in the hospital, and probably will be for a few more weeks.
It's so bizarre, when the strongest person you've ever known is in a hospital bed. It was bizarre the first time it happened three years ago when we thought we might lose her and though I've grown to handle it better emotionally over the years, the sadness doesn't go away.

My mom, who raised me and my sister on her own; who is always the one that everyone in the family has turned to; the strong woman who was a nurse for 30 years. Talking to Heather a couple of nights ago as we were standing outside of her hospital room, I said "I would pay any amount of money to see my mom be a nurse again." My mom, taking care of her patients and loving them and comforting them and being the best kind of nurse there ever is- one who cares for both the physical and psychological. I know it's selfish, but I'd give anything to see her walk down the hallways of her hospital one more time in her uniform. To be able to know that she's at her strongest.

I'm blessed that my mom is here. I have been blessed beyond measure to call her mine for the past 32 years. And I want to soak all of her in. I want to focus on today and loving her and talking to her and learning from her. It's a good lesson on not worrying, on giving thanks for the day. Because I know one day I'll look back at this and think that I'd give anything to be sitting next to my mom in her hospital bed just one more time. So today I will. And I will give thanks.

My mom has reminded me many times that just because God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want Him to doesn't mean that He's still not God and that He's not good and perfect. Today I pray I never forget that.

xo, Kara


  1. Kara, tu madre estará en nuestras oraciones.
    Ya verás como sale de esta. Mi madre también fue enfermera y se quedó viuda cuando yo tenía 17 años. Muchos ánimos y un beso para tu madre y para ti.

  2. Oh, Kara. Sending you, your family, and especially your mom lots of love and prayers.

  3. I know that He is a God of sound mind, not a God of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not a God of disorder but peace, as in all meetings of God's holy people. "

    I love you, and I'm praying for you, Mama, and Heather too. xoxoxo

  4. Kara, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom, and your family. Hugs to you. Enjoy every moment with your sweet mom.

  5. sending prayers, friend :)

  6. oh what a lovely and moving post about your much loved Mum. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. x


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